The Harvest

Life has changed quite dramatically since I have last posted. To let you know a little secret, I felt my life for the past few years was a transition period or stepping stones to a bigger picture. I was in graduate school for Christian Leadership, I was working full time as a teacher, and I was patient, at least most of the time. When I truly felt I should apply and attend seminary, I knew I would be waiting. I understood that my direct instruction was to attend seminary and work full time. I also knew that after graduating I would have a better idea of what to do with my degree. Well four years later, I just graduated from seminary, and I just married the love of my life. I am also moving across the country with my husband as he starts his new job!!!! This ways my next step. I can not describe how I knew that life for the past few years was a transitional time, or why I knew all would work out after graduating. I just know that when you are truly in tune with what God’s direction is for your life, and what His will is for your life, you find peace in the journey. This journey was not always easy for me. My job is not exactly the easiest, and sometimes I thought I would be single forever. But I waited and I truly had faith in that tiny voice I heard years earlier. Now I still do not know what I will be doing. Other than moving to Texas with my new husband, nothing else has been revealed. But I am at peace with that. I am so excited about this new stage in my life and I am ready for it!!! I am finishing up teaching and will be packing up to move in two months. I will continue to pray and to ask God for guidance in what opportunities I have out in Texas. I am a newlywed and I am moving and starting a new career. That is enough to drive some people crazy. But every time I think about the struggles or how stressful life may be without the security of my family and friends and just the overall familiarity of life, I then turn and think, ‘I am going to get so much closer with God’. I know He will be there for me. He knows exactly who I am and what I will need. He will sustain me and He will provide for me. He is my true joy and happiness. What is funny is although this is the end of this waiting game, there will be another one right around the corner. Life is like that. What is important to remember, (and I have to remind myself of this a lot ) is to enjoy the journey. Enjoy waiting and the dullness that may come with it. Give praise for those dull and boring days, and be thankful that there are days to rest. I can not believe how drastic my life has changed. I had to wait 31 years for this to happen, and I would have waited another 31 if I had to for this season of harvest. Some of the pieces to my puzzle of life are fitting together. I am no longer scattered and flipped up side down in some areas of my life. There are many areas in which I am still figuring out how to go. I find peace in that. I am not perfect and I never will be. Philippians 3:13 is a verse I love during this time: “But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead. I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.” This is what I hold on to. There are many mistakes and failures that I could remind myself of when thinking of the new adventure to come. I could remind myself of how weak and insecure I am, and how I am not worthy. But I know better than that. I know who I am in Christ Jesus and He knew who I was (good, bad, and ugly), the minute He called me into relationship with Him. Do not think you are ever less than worthy for God’s calling on your life. You have an important job to do for His kingdom and His glory. Find strength in the understanding that you were picked specifically for a certain calling, and God will equip you with what ever you need. As I end this entry, I don’t know how wise or uplifting it is. I know that I had the urge to update and to say I am quite excited to share all my amazing experiences of being a new wife, living in a new state, and working out life (and what I am going to fix for dinner every night!). I wanted to start a new blog, but this is still the perfect one, it has just shifted as the roles of who I am in life have changed. Peace and blessings! Lora

With A Very Thankful Heart

Wow I am totally going to have to get better at posting!! Almost a year later and here I am. Life has changed dramatically and I couldn’t be any happier. First of all, I only have one more class of graduate school and I will have my Masters in Christian Leadership. This has been something I have been working towards for so long. I knew God was calling to get my Masters in this area. I also knew that while I was taking these classes, I would not know what doors it would open in my life. I just knew that all I was responsible for at this moment was to take the classes and finish. After which I would be given further direction. So here I am at the door of a new adventure once I finish this class I start in January! I am so thankful for the opportunity to get my masters in this area and the many lessons I have learned along the way. In a few months my life will be changing forever, and not just because of my masters degree. It is also changing because I AM GETTING MARRIED!!! Yes, it is true. Not only am I getting married to the man of my dreams but I will be moving half way across the country with him. This is something that I am very excited about. I know God has a plan in all of this and I know finishing my masters will play a key role when I get out there in May. I am a teacher at the moment and once I get my degree, I know it would have been hard to leave and go into another profession in the same town, because I would be unsure of the outcome. However, moving across the country, not have my teacher license in that area will give me a better mind set to leave what was known and travel into the unknown. Such an exciting adventure ahead!!!! I’ve always had faith in God and knew what He was working in my life behind the scenes would always benefit me. However, many times it was hard to accept the place I was at. It was lonely and boring sometimes. I was unsure of who I was and what my life would hold. I always had faith and continued to live life and pursue the dreams God had placed in my heart. I am quite certain had I got married in the beginning stages of getting my masters, I may never have finished. God truly knows what is best and His timeline is better than our own. I was in church yesterday by myself and the chorus of a David Crowder Band song hit my heart, “He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realise just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me.oh how He loves us so, oh how He loves us,” How He does love us and realizing that yesterday while singing this song in church made me feel so incredibly thankful and blessed. I believe we all have seasons, and some seasons are for sowing, and some are for growing, and some are for the harvest. I know we have all heard this before, but this is very much true. The growing season is the hardest part, because most of the growth after you sow your seeds aren’t seen for a while. Its waiting and being patient. I have to say I was not always the most patient person and I am still working on that. However, I always knew that something would happen and it would lead my life in a different direction if I just continued to follow the path God had for me. I am thankful for the harvest season I am in right now. I think it is important to recognize when God has brought the harvest, and be in a state of thankfulness and love to the God of everything. This next year isn’t going to be easy (I’m sure many blog posts will be centered on this). I am a family girl and I love my family with all of my heart and this will be the first time I will be away from them. There will be days that are tough; however, every time I think about that, I am given this sense of how much more I will rely on God and how much closer we will be. Although every season is not always the best when we are in them, it is important to give thanks for the growth each season brings because each season does bring growth, even if we do not see it! God works in all of our lives for good! Hold to that understanding and be happy for each day God has given you. Happy Thanksgiving ! Lora

A New Year Is Almost Here...

It is very hard to believe that 2012 is almost over. This year has absolutely flown by. Which is probably why it was the month of May since my last post. However, here I am writing again on the last few days of the year. I really enjoy this, and although it is sometimes long in between each of my post, I believe there is a purpose behind it. I hope among other things this new year will rejuvenate my desire to write more, especially since I have more free time right now. Although there are many things that have changed in my life, there are still many things that are quite the same since this time last year. This is a blessing and also a time of reflection so that I may move forward in 2013. Earlier this year, within days of the New Year I ran my first half marathon. I have become very passionate about fitness and running, these activities have created a very positive outlet for me. I am so happy I have found an activity that even after more than a year of starting, I am still just as passionate. I miss running when I do not get to run, and I love being at the gym when I am there. This was a year of many first for me, and I really enjoyed all the new and amazing things I was able to do this year. There are also things that I am looking forward to do this new year. I have so many things I want to do and accomplish that sometimes it can be stressful thinking about all of it. However, I have come to the decision that my most important new years resolution is to not worry about things in my life. Stress causes so many negative things to many people. It is one of the leading causes to heart disease, among other things. It is such a problem for many people universally. So starting out I know that this is a hard new years resolution to submit to. However, I am bound and determine to make this my new years resolution!!!!!! How you may ask.. well many times its not that I worry about horrible things that might happen in my life. Usually its the small day to day things that I get wound up in worry about. Things that occupy my mind, and yet have no real purpose. It is just a way of me not being able to live in peace because I am thinking negatively about certain situations. At the same time, I do worry about big things in my life that I am afraid may not happen or will happen. So really I am a well-rounded worrier, but this will change. I have noticed that because I have made this my new years resolution, that negative mindsets try to occupy my mind a lot. So after reading a devotional one day I found the perfect verse I have been reciting every time my mind wonders off into a negative mindset. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight." Absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this verse for my new years resolution. It is such an easy verse to memorize as well so it is easy for me to recite it mentally when I need to. Can you tell I have already started my new years resolution?? I thought maybe I needed some practice before really going head first on January 1st! Its my resolution, my rules! YAY! I believe a Godly new years resolution is perfect for everyone. The new year can be very motivating for positive changes and decisions to take place. However a brand new year, isn't the only way to start something new and inspiring, but since the new year is almost here, why not start now?!?! I also believe we can not achieve things on our own. That is why I really rely on this bible verse to help me. It is through the grace of God, God's Word and the workings of the holy spirit that all of us have the ability to change. Like Proverbs 3:5 say ".....do not lean on your own understanding..." If we rely on our own understanding and ability, we will get discouraged, down-hearted, and eventually fail at what we are doing. It is through God that we are able to do anything good and keep the positive changes anyways. I am so happy and blessed that I do not have to rely on myself, but I have a powerful God that will lead me and direct me in all of my decisions. Because lets be honest with ourselves... anytime we try to do anything on our own it just doens't work out. Besides, I would rather have what God has for my life because I know it is much bigger and better than anything I could ever dream up for myself! Good Luck in all your new years resolutions!!!! It is going to be a FABULOUS year!!!!!!

To Breath In Summer....Its Here!

Hello hello! I have been so busy the last couple of months. Really the start of the 2012 came very fast, and has kept going. I just finished my Apologetics course, and I absolutely loved it. I learned so much more about my faith and about how to speak to those who are not Christians of other faiths, or none at all. This has been an amazing experience. I have been so blessed to have the chance to take these powerful classes at Liberty, that not only has strengthened my mind, but my walk with God as well. Such a learning experience. Speaking of learning experiences, I tend not to talk too much about work and the situations I encountered. However, this year has been such a learning experience. This is my forth year in, and by now I thought I would know everything there is to know about teaching... (just kidding). Really though, I have learned so much. I want to be a great teacher and teach the students about the value of absolutism, enlightenment, WWI and WWII. However, I want them to know that I care. I want them to know they are valued. Life is hard and I know not everyone has a great home life. I was blessed to grow up in such an amazing family with parents that instilled Christian values. The more I teach, the more I am aware of that and how I am so blessed. I pray for my students, and when I look into their eyes, my heart melts...on most days. I love teaching and I have learned that God has me where I am for a reason. It may not be easy most days, but I am needed, in what ever way that is. I have found comfort in that. I know that may seem simple, but I leave work and know that there is a reason, and not by accident I started working there, or what students are in my class and in that I find rest. Ohhh but summer is upon us! I am so excited about summer. I find that I learn more and I grow as a person during this time. Life has been absolutely amazing. God has blessed me in so many ways. I have only the desire to LIVE and to enjoy every single moment of it. Romans 8:28 says "We know all things work together for the good of those who love God; who are called according to His purpose." Every day will not be easy, something will always come up and we will get down. However, I know God has a specific plan for my life. I know there are no accidents in this world. Our Lord is so amazing, it is almost hard to comprehend that he is in control of even the tiny things that happen. But He absolutely is. I find rest in that as well. What is suppose to happen will happen. I often quote "let go and let God", because it is so true. I want this summer to be all about growth and freedom and living. The only way that any of us can do that is to let go of the hurt, guilt, the burdens, and all of that stuff that weighs us down....and simply give it to God. It sounds easier than it is, I know. However, I believe our responsibility is to truly pray, talk to God, read the Word, and rely that everything will work out for His glory. For His glory, is what we want!!! God gave us this beautiful life, not to despair but to live. I am so excited about this time in my life. I know there will be hard times and times where I am looking for answers, but I am going to embrace this time and allow God to fill me, because I want to be in the moment and not take this time for granted. Life is to be lived, and summer is here, breath it in!!!!!

Change of Seasons

Fall is in the air. I absolutely love fall. I love the colors, the breeze in the air and the start of the holiday season. I just returned from the mountains in Tennessee and fall up there is amazing. The air was so cold, but it breathed new life. I love the change of seasons.
Everyone is different though. Some are ready for a new season and then there are some who always wants to linger in the previous one. Of course then there are always people who like to rush seasons too. Like life, seasons come and seasons go.
I think I have said this before, but I believe I am in a season of growth. I believe I have been presented with this season before but instead of sulking in it, I am actually now becoming proactive and growing so that I will learn and grow. I don't really know how to explain it other than to say that its not like I am experiencing new feelings or circumstances, instead I am reacting and listening to God's voice in a different way. My attitude has changed and instead of reacting to situations negatively I am reacting by listening to God's voice and truly finding my guidance and peace in ONLY Him.
Ephesians 6:10 says "Finally, be strengthened by the LORD and by His vast strength." I love that verse. That verse allows me to settle down and quit the works of the flesh. I can not do anything on my own. To finally realize that was so liberating. It is God's work in me that allows me to grow. All I have to do is trust that He is working in me and that I am growing into the women He wants me to be.
I do not know where my life is going. I am a teacher, I am in Seminary, I am single, and I am going to enjoy life in all of the seasons I am going through.
I trust that God knows exactly what He is doing, and I find my strength in that knowledge. This realization did not come over night. This has been a battle for a very long time. Those closest to me know how hard I have battled loving life during the lonely times.
I was playing right into the hands of the enemy. I was doing exactly what was not going to get me anywhere. I was accepting a lonely life and hating every bit of it. I am so happy I have grown and moved past that prideful attitude. I can't tell you that I fixed it or that there is a ten step program to get out of where you are.
However, I can tell you that when I truly engulfed myself in the Word, opened up my heart to the Lord, and just finally became too tired to fight it anymore, I grew. And you may not want to hear this but sometimes it just takes time. It takes time to learn and grow, to realize that this can be a good season or a bad season and its all up to you.
Please do not get confused, I am still in this season. It is not as if I am speaking from the other side, on the contrary, I am still here. The season I once hated still surrounds me. However, I am now growing in this season, instead of acting pitiful and sad. It isn't always easy. Sometimes my old mindsets and habits try to creep back, but as soon as I sense it, I pray and read the Word. I also trust that God's strength will always give me strength.
No matter how long you are in this season of your life good or bad, trust that God knows exactly what He is doing and He loves you and has reasons for this. You may not understand it now, but once you submit to the understanding that you have no clue, He will give you peace above your understanding. This will humble you and you will grow. If I have learned anything from this, it is how prideful I am because it is easy for me to ask why I am not getting everything I want. As I am growing I have realized its not all about me, its all about God. That is who I want it all to be about. May He use me how He will. I pray that I become a vessel for everything He wants to do through me. But the only way to be that is to grow in every season He has me in.
Trust in God above your own understanding. Lift your hands to Him and shout: I trust in your will for my life and I believe I am in the season for your glory!!!! Like me, I believe a weight will be lifted once you do.
God Bless you!

Tiny Whispers of God's Graciousness

There are many things that put a smile on my face. I believe everyday holds something to smile about. Even if we are faced with hard times, God gives us little blessings through out the day to help us along. All of these blessings can be seen through nature, a word from a friend, or just a stress free afternoon with a good cup of coffee.
Even when God is redirecting us, we can still have a smile on our face. Recently, God showed me an area in which I could refine or work on in my life. As I was hearing God’s small nudge of redirection I couldn’t help but smile. I am so happy God cares for us so much he starts with a small whisper. It is only when we are unable to hear and do not wish to hear that our life’s are sometimes turned up side down before we listen to what we need to do.
The more I read my Bible, and strive to become closer to God, the more I can hear the small voice of God. I love to hear when God speaks softly. I praise God during those times. I want to learn how to take those small voices just as serious as those loud and over-powering voices we experience when we get to far in. I do not want to go so far that my entire life is crumpling around me before I stop and listen to God. I want to listen to Him now, in the most quiet areas of my life.
When I pray every day, a part of that prayer is asking God to continue to prune me and make me who He wants me to be. However, In the middle of that “pruning” process I can get overwhelmed and feel defeated. This however is not what God wants us to feel like. Especially when we ask Him to prune our areas that need to go away.
I have realized that the “pruning” process is a process and it takes time. God will not show me everything I need to work on all at once, as well as, just because He is showing me areas I need to work on, I should be jumping up and down for joy that He in all of His wonderful grace and mercy is continuing to teach me. I need not feel defeated and over whelmed. This is a wonderful thing. I am praising that small voice, and thanking God I am hearing that small voice, before it becomes too loud to bare.
I am so thankful God is still using me and molding me to be exactly who He wants me to be. I am so humbled at the fact that God views me as usable. I want God to use me in any and all areas of my life. My prayer is that He will dig out all the bad stuff and refill me with everything I can not produce on my own. However, before that can happen we need to have the ability to listen and obey Gods voice, may it be small or large.
Psalms 18: 30 says “God, His way is perfect; the Word of the LORD is pure. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is a rock? Only our God. God, He clothes me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer and sets me securely on the heights. He trains my hands for war; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand upholds me, and Your humility exalts me. You widen a place beneath me for my steps, and my ankles do not give way.”
God is power. Turn to Him in all areas of your life. You won’t be disappointed. He is calling for you to turn to Him. Trust in Him. If you are a Christian, self examination is a good thing. What areas of your life has God been whispering to you in? Turn to Him in those areas so that God may transform your life!!! Our God can do all things! He is powerful and mighty, don’t wait, let him in!!!
God Bless you!

Dreaded Legalism

Wow! What a week. I know, I did not update last Thursday but I decided that although my goal is to update every week, I am not going to dread or force myself to by postponing things so I will make time to update my blog. I love this blog. I almost do not want to call it a “blog” because it is so much more to me than that. I really enjoy expressing myself and “venting” sometimes about what is going on in my life. The main reason I decided to begin this is because I wanted to speak on what all God has shown me and give those who may be reading this a inside look of someone that struggles everyday, as we all do, but also a look at someone who loves the Lord and will to continue to work everyday to become everything, He wants me to me.
I am not too prideful and I do not think that everyone is begging to learn all about my life. However, like me, I know there are individuals out there who would like to see they are not alone in some of their thoughts, feelings, fears, and struggles. I wrote my first blog post on another site a couple of years, ago. It was filled with simple thoughts, just about what I had been going through. After I posted the blog, I received so many responses, I decided that, at least in my group of friends, there was a need for this type of authentic expression.
The point of stating all of this is to say, that I love writing this blog, however I am not going to “force” to update, and give myself rules for something I enjoy. So many times we make rules and regulations for what we once enjoyed doing. I have struggles with this in so many areas. For example, I love reading my Bible, but I will make rules as to how much I should read in a week, how long I should read my Bible each day, and before I know it, I am so overwhelmed by the rules I have placed on something I once loved doing, that I am now burdened while doing it. I do this about working out too! I love working out, however I have a tendency in making this a rule of law. So much so, that if I do not work out on the days I have assigned, I will feel bad the whole day. This struggle is not just in the realm of religious activities. Rarely, any of our struggles just pertain to our spiritual relationship; it usually is within our secular activities as well.
How do we stop this? I believe it begins with our prayer life and asking the Lord to open our eyes and heart when we are turning “legalistic” in certain areas. If I am not constantly in prayer about this weakness, it will over take my life on most days. I am currently reading Matthew, and this is a great book to read when God is opening your eyes to this struggle. Jesus is constantly talking with the Sadducees, and the Pharisee about their rules and how it will get them nowhere. At this moment I am reminded of a verse in Matthew, which says “…I desire mercy, not sacrifice” (Matthew 12: 7) In Matthew 12 the disciples are passing through a grain field on the Sabbath and are hungry. They begin to pick some of the grain. When the Pharisees saw this they stated the disciples were doing unlawful things on the Sabbath. Jesus stated that some things are greater than the Sabbath are. Jesus continues by stating “If you had known what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice, you would not have condemned the innocent. For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath”. The Pharisees and Sadducees were obsessed with rules, laws, and regulations. They could never fully rely on Jesus because they were focused on the wrong thing. Sadly, Jesus knew most would not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven because of their mindset.
This is a sobering thought, when I realize how serious this is, and the work I have to continue to be bondage free in this area. I am not so much focused on what others do, nor am I focused on the rules they must hold to. However, I am very focused on myself in this area. I may not worry about how many check marks others have checked off, but if I am not careful, I can be totally focused on how many I have checked off. When I feel God is pruning me in certain areas, sometimes I go overboard and think I have to react double to what God is doing.
This is most certainly not true. It was never me who sparked the urge to change inside myself anyways. God prunes us, and he gives us the strength to become more like Him. In our own earthly nature, we as humans will never want to change. However, with the Holy Spirit in us we are changed every day from glory to glory, to become more like our Father. There is nothing we can do to make this process go faster. Like wise, there is nothing we can do to change anything about us, without God. We can not read our Bible enough, hang out with our Christian friends enough, not watch certain t.v. shows enough and so on. Those are all good disciplines; however, just doing those things will never make us more like Jesus. If we understand that, then our understanding towards legalism should be clear, rules do not make us a better Christian.
However, it is hard to not feel like we have to do more. However, if we feel like we have to have rules, then we are not trusting God fully in our lives. If our heart is in the right place, God will continue to work in us to make us more like Him. Think about it, if you say you trust God completely in your life, you will also understand that God is in complete control of your life.
Does this mean we do not have to read our Bibles anymore, go to Church, evangelize, or continue to fellowship with our Christian friends? Absolutely not, those examples are very good disciplines, that I believe once we start God will give us the desire to continue. For example, once I stopped making myself read my Bible a certain amount of time a day, and realized how legalistic I was, I actually was reading my Bible more. Really, I was!! This is because I started enjoying reading my Bible again, and I didn’t make it a chore.
God began to show me so much more when I was able to read my Bible cheerfully and not because I was obligated to. Yes we should take our Bible reading seriously, actually my last blog talks all about that. However, we must pray and seek boundaries so that we are able to grow and learn in a way only God can nourish. Even if you do not know how to stop being legalistic or even know in what areas, just pray to God and ask Him to reveal to you areas, in which you are focusing less on God and more on your own status.
I pray these words have helped you today as they have helped me. God Bless you!