The class I am currently in is New Testament Orientation II. This class is much more difficult than my first class. The New Testament has so much information and going into it, since I have read the NT many times before, I really thought I would have much of the background information already. Apparently, I did not know what I was thinking, because I am learning so much more than I ever thought I would. I have such an appreciation for both the New Testament and the Old Testament. I am loving all of this, and it is such a rewarding experience.
This process of going to school, learning, studying, passing has been such an amazing experience. I have been wanting to go to Seminary school for so long, and have known that God placed this desire in my heart for a reason. When looking back and visioning how this all has played out, and how easy it was for me to start going, and having time to study as hard as I do, it is all God. God really has placed this with favor in my life, and although I have to do the work, this is in no way shape or form easy, God has given me peace to really focus and study well. This experience really demonstrates to me, that God does have a plan for each of our lives and when He gives us a desire and you know without a shadow of a doubt that this is His will, it will work out. It took me 2 1/2 years to start after the initial feeling, and yet I just continued with my life, and finished my undergrad and tried for a job, and even worked for a year before it all came to be.
When I remembered how this all worked out, it really puts into perspective things that I know God has told me now and I am still waiting for them. I do not want to waste my life away just waiting when I know it will come to pass, but I just have to be patient and wait. Many times, I find myself consumed with what I want, and I do not just live and when it comes it comes.
When I knew I was going to seminary but it had not happened yet, I didn't stop living, I wasn't consumed with it. I knew it would happen and I just kept doing what I knew I needed to do so that it would happen.
Life is really good right now. Now don't get me wrong, I could pick out things that are wrong, and dwell and be unhappy. However, as I am sitting on my couch and watching Little People Big World (lol) life is great. My job is almost over, I only have 4 weeks until summer vacation. I really have sooooo many things to be happy about and proud of myself about.
Things will never be perfect and I will never have everything I want, but I am happy. I will keep working and striving for better and strive to be a better person for God. But I am not ashamed to say that I think I am doing pretty well right now. God has given me so much, and I am really realizing that by leaning more on Him and less on myself, I am at peace.
I have lived by myself for about 6 months now, and its so easy to nit-pick everything wrong and things I haven't done right because no one else is around to blame it on. But I am learning everyday how to lean on God more and more. I still have so many things to work through and on, but in the words of Joyce Meyer "I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be". I will praise God for that. I remember so many times I would think to myself "I am never going to be able to change this or that"...and I was right, by myself I can't. But with God I was able to. I was able to stand strong and live by myself and manage my money and go to school and go to work, and really work on some of my negative aspects. I was able to do it, because of God.
Life is good, and the moral of the story is: Instead of thinking about all the wrong things that are going on in your life, or wrong things about you, praise God that you aren't where you used to be, and that will motivate you to move closer to God so you can become more like Him.
Praise God, and may He bless you!
