Bounds and Bounds of Faith

Before this summer started I prayed nightly that I would grow in amazing ways towards God. I wanted to develop a closeness with Him that I had never achieved before. As the summer started, it was clear to me that God wanted me to grow further and further in my faith in Him. 

Faith, being the key word. Faith is something I always thought I had a strong handle on. I soon realized that I did not have the faith that God wanted me to. 

I had to open myself up in all areas, and have faith that God would lead and guide me in the right direction. It was hard at first. I had faith in God, but only in areas that I could not do anything about. Example, finding a job. I did all I could do to find the right school to work at. I went above and beyond the call of duty, even knocking on principles doors. But in the end, when it was clear that I could do no more, I finally surrender to having faith in God. I soon got a job after that. 

Faith is more than that. It is more than doing all we can humanly do, and then surrendering.  

Paul writes in Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith no one can please God. We must believe that God is real and that he rewards everyone who searches for him." I want to please God! As I look at myself, created in God's image, I know that I do not like it when someone does not have faith in me. So why would God be any different? I believe too many times, we as human beings put God in this little box, and limit what He wants to do in our lives, simply because we do not have the faith to give everything to Him. 

I do not want to put God in a box and yet I do it over, and over again. I worry about many different things. I worry sometimes to the point that it is illogical. I have really become determined that the minute I start to worry is the minute, I mentally throw my hands in the air, and lift it up to God. He does not want me to worry, and I am breaking that habit daily. 

In looking at some of my bigger mistakes that I have made thus far in my life. I have realized that in many cases, I was not willing to have faith and wait on God, so I took control myself. 

I am trusting God in some big ways right now. I am going to continue working at the school that was really hard for me last year. It was and is an answered pray to have this job, and I have to keep reminding myself that God delivered me in some powerful ways last year and He will continue to guide me this year. He has me here for a reason, and I am willing to stay and do His work at this place.

I am also trusting God with seminary school. I want to go so bad. Again, I have done everything that I need to do in a responsible way to become accepted, however it has not happened yet. This is one of the ones that is hard for me to not try to control myself. Yet, every time I worry about this, I remember that God is in control and He knows when doors should open, when, and how fast. Until the seminary opportunity opens, I will wait.....with patients. 

There are so many more things that I am trusting God for. There are many things, that I would love to have work out and manifest a happy ending. But in all things we must focus on God and realize that His control and timing is so much better than ours ever can be. I am striving everyday for God to remain the center of every thing that I do, so that things will work out perfectly. They may not have worked out the way I would have wanted them to, or even prayed for. But looking back, those things that worked out in a different way, I was so happy and thankful that they did. My desires are not always in line with God's desire, but I believe that the closer we are to God, the closer our desires match His.  And with that, I will continue to strive to have bounds and bounds of faith in God. 

Pick Your Day

Every morning when I wake up, one of the most important decisions I make in the first five minutes is 'what coffee cup and I going to drink out of today?'. Picking the right coffee cup is an important decision. I can pick my usual white cup that holds enough, but I may have to refill more often, or I could pick one of the cups I bought on one of my many vacations. But usually I pick a really big coffee cup, so refill is minimal. Pouring with equal parts of powder cream and sugar, I am ready to start my day!!!

Picking the right coffee cup is important, but the very most important decision I make every morning, is whether I am going to have a good day, or a bad day. This is one of the most important decisions one can make everyday. Especially, when it is mid-week, and I am teaching and Friday can not come soon enough, I have to literally tell myself that today will be the best day of my life. I expect something good to happen that day. And usually what is good about that day, is nothing really, really bad happens!

I've been realizing more and more lately that the reason God allows us to wake up and see the sun for another day is because He wants to use us. God gives us another day, so that we may help further His kingdom. And if that is the case, I have to say its going to be a good day, because it will be. Being positive about the day ahead, makes it easier for God to use us in the day that He gave us. 

As I started to say that every morning, I realized that I would become expectant of something wonderful happening, and it made my day so much better. I would focus more on the positive things that happened that day, I would not be so stressed, and I would just enjoy my day. 

I started reading Daniel today. God really used him in some powerful ways. Daniel was put through some hard times as a result of a vain ruler, but he continued to believe God was the god that had a plan in place and was using him every part of the way. I've haven't read the whole book yet, and I'm quite sure that Daniel wasn't happy-go-lucky his entire life, but I do know that he allowed God to use him, and was willing to serve God everyday. 

My life inedibly is going to change drastically, when looking at the changes that are going to happen and me living on my own. I could have the mind set to focus on the negative. For example, more bills to pay, and realizing that I will have to do more things on my own. But I really haven't thought about those things much because I am excited about the new changes that will happen in my life, and the lives around me. I have made up my mind that this is going to be the best time in my life. I can't help but think that I have really trained my mind to become more reliant on God and have realized that the unknown of the next day or the next year is going to be a great one. I don't have to worry about my own ability, because my own ability isn't strong enough without God. 

So today will be a GREAT day and I'm excited about it!

The Journey Continues....

So the last couple of days I have been reading Hebrews. I have really enjoyed it. If I could, I would encourage everyone to sit down and read the entire book in one sitting, (only 13 chapters). This is a great book (scholars think it was written by Paul) that tells everyone to continue their earnest focus on God even when times get worse.

In my own life, in many different occasions I let myself down, and I also let God down. Things happen, sins happen, life happens. Usually, when I feel as if I am "done" with a certain sin, it rears its dirty face again for me to deal with it all over again. I feel discouraged, I feel that I not only let myself down but I also have let my friends down, and most importantly I have let God down.

But in Chapter 12 verse 7 of Hebrews, Paul says "Be patient when you are being corrected! This is how God treats his children." And in verse 12 "Now stand up straight! Stop your knees from shaking and walk a straight path. Then lame people will be healed, instead of getting worse"

Which means in my own life, that I should be thankful that God is correcting me, if He wasn't I would be in worse trouble. Because that would mean that I am not hearing from him. This also means that I need to stop dwelling on past mistakes, I should stand up straight and keep fighting the good fight.

If we let ourselves dwell on past mistakes (that are forgiven) we simple continue to circle the same mountain. We never move forward! How horrible is that? I would never want to circle the same mountain, it gets frustrating and confusing. But we must continue to look to God for our strength and just realize that it will be okay. God is steadily working in each of our lives, and we must continue to move forward! 

In many cases in my own life, I tend to put God in a box and limit His power to solve a problem I have. I feel that I have to feel bad for my sins for a couple of days, and then try to "make them up" so that I feel that I have redeemed myself. But God doesn't work like that. He is a god of grace and mercy. He wants to help us, He wants us to run to Him, and realize that we can not do it on our own. 

Paul also states in chapter 6 verse 1 "We must try to become mature and start thinking about more than just the basic things we were taught about Christ. We shouldn't meed to keep talking about why we ought to run from deeds that bring death and why we ought to have faith in God. And we shouldn't need to keep teaching about baptisms or about the laying on of hands or about people being raised from death and the future judgement. Let's grow up if God is willing." 

How powerful is that? Paul is plainly saying, that we must grow up and think above and beyond the little things that we were taught. Stop dwelling on past mistakes, move forward in Christ. I really, really needed to hear those words. I need to stop worrying about the small stuff and realize how HUGE God is, and He is completely and utterly in control. 

I remember when I was a child and my parents would tell me not to worry about things, how things were going to work out or something like that. And as a child I would listen and knew that my parents had never let me down before so why would they do it this time, it just wasn't an option. And every time, everything always worked out. Plans may have changed, but I had more fun with the new plans than the old. Doesn't say in the Bible that we should come to God as a child, or in a child like way? Yes it very much does. I think that is going to be my new prayer!

L.

Learning from Day to Day.....

Being able to take a break from my daily teaching responsibilities I am able to focus more earnestly on my daily pursuit of God's heart. Don't get me wrong I am pursuing His heart when I am teaching 5 days a week, however, having your entire weeks and months off, allows one to become more focused. 
I enjoy the mornings, the silence that is present allows the Glory of God to really be heard. It is nice to sit on my patio and listen to what is being said.
I was reading 1 Corinthians; Chapter 7 today, and I came across the part that Paul dedicates to the "unmarried people" of this world. I thought it was quite fitting for my current circumstances. I have to laugh really. I love Paul and I love his message. I really enjoy the part in which he states, "However, I think I am obeying God's spirit when I say she would be happier to stay single." I am sure Paul is right. I am sure that life in essence would be easier if one decided to stay single. But with the looming questions at family gatherings of "you'll be next" or "when are you going to get married", or my favorite "don't worry, it will happen, when its meant to happen." As I node, and slowly walk away, all I have thoughts of is " i can't wait for those questions to be over with!!!". 
I don't know if anyone would agree, but I feel empowered by Paul's words. I get that things would be easier and I love that Paul had the nerves to say it. From my history back ground I understand that things would be much easier economically for Paul to get married, he would definitely have more money to continue his missions and give to the church. On top of other gains from a marriage. But he wasn't worried about that.
What I love about Paul, is when reading his words in the New Testament, one can really gain a sense that his eyes are totally on God and nothing will change that. 
In my own circumstances, just for the record, I want to get married. But I gain so much from reading about God and his promises no matter what our circumstances are all that matters is Him. And right now as a single person I have so much time and energy that I can put towards God and learning more and more about his wonderful glory and mercy, that I'm just excited being a "single" person right now. Although I don't think I am single, I'm never really alone.