Bounds and Bounds of Faith

Before this summer started I prayed nightly that I would grow in amazing ways towards God. I wanted to develop a closeness with Him that I had never achieved before. As the summer started, it was clear to me that God wanted me to grow further and further in my faith in Him. 

Faith, being the key word. Faith is something I always thought I had a strong handle on. I soon realized that I did not have the faith that God wanted me to. 

I had to open myself up in all areas, and have faith that God would lead and guide me in the right direction. It was hard at first. I had faith in God, but only in areas that I could not do anything about. Example, finding a job. I did all I could do to find the right school to work at. I went above and beyond the call of duty, even knocking on principles doors. But in the end, when it was clear that I could do no more, I finally surrender to having faith in God. I soon got a job after that. 

Faith is more than that. It is more than doing all we can humanly do, and then surrendering.  

Paul writes in Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith no one can please God. We must believe that God is real and that he rewards everyone who searches for him." I want to please God! As I look at myself, created in God's image, I know that I do not like it when someone does not have faith in me. So why would God be any different? I believe too many times, we as human beings put God in this little box, and limit what He wants to do in our lives, simply because we do not have the faith to give everything to Him. 

I do not want to put God in a box and yet I do it over, and over again. I worry about many different things. I worry sometimes to the point that it is illogical. I have really become determined that the minute I start to worry is the minute, I mentally throw my hands in the air, and lift it up to God. He does not want me to worry, and I am breaking that habit daily. 

In looking at some of my bigger mistakes that I have made thus far in my life. I have realized that in many cases, I was not willing to have faith and wait on God, so I took control myself. 

I am trusting God in some big ways right now. I am going to continue working at the school that was really hard for me last year. It was and is an answered pray to have this job, and I have to keep reminding myself that God delivered me in some powerful ways last year and He will continue to guide me this year. He has me here for a reason, and I am willing to stay and do His work at this place.

I am also trusting God with seminary school. I want to go so bad. Again, I have done everything that I need to do in a responsible way to become accepted, however it has not happened yet. This is one of the ones that is hard for me to not try to control myself. Yet, every time I worry about this, I remember that God is in control and He knows when doors should open, when, and how fast. Until the seminary opportunity opens, I will wait.....with patients. 

There are so many more things that I am trusting God for. There are many things, that I would love to have work out and manifest a happy ending. But in all things we must focus on God and realize that His control and timing is so much better than ours ever can be. I am striving everyday for God to remain the center of every thing that I do, so that things will work out perfectly. They may not have worked out the way I would have wanted them to, or even prayed for. But looking back, those things that worked out in a different way, I was so happy and thankful that they did. My desires are not always in line with God's desire, but I believe that the closer we are to God, the closer our desires match His.  And with that, I will continue to strive to have bounds and bounds of faith in God.