The Pursuit...

Change of Seasons

2011-11-10T18:35:00.000-08:00

Fall is in the air. I absolutely love fall. I love the colors, the breeze in the air and the start of the holiday season. I just returned from the mountains in Tennessee and fall up there is amazing. The air was so cold, but it breathed new life. I love the change of seasons.
Everyone is different though. Some are ready for a new season and then there are some who always wants to linger in the previous one. Of course then there are always people who like to rush seasons too. Like life, seasons come and seasons go.
I think I have said this before, but I believe I am in a season of growth. I believe I have been presented with this season before but instead of sulking in it, I am actually now becoming proactive and growing so that I will learn and grow. I don't really know how to explain it other than to say that its not like I am experiencing new feelings or circumstances, instead I am reacting and listening to God's voice in a different way. My attitude has changed and instead of reacting to situations negatively I am reacting by listening to God's voice and truly finding my guidance and peace in ONLY Him.
Ephesians 6:10 says "Finally, be strengthened by the LORD and by His vast strength." I love that verse. That verse allows me to settle down and quit the works of the flesh. I can not do anything on my own. To finally realize that was so liberating. It is God's work in me that allows me to grow. All I have to do is trust that He is working in me and that I am growing into the women He wants me to be.
I do not know where my life is going. I am a teacher, I am in Seminary, I am single, and I am going to enjoy life in all of the seasons I am going through.
I trust that God knows exactly what He is doing, and I find my strength in that knowledge. This realization did not come over night. This has been a battle for a very long time. Those closest to me know how hard I have battled loving life during the lonely times.
I was playing right into the hands of the enemy. I was doing exactly what was not going to get me anywhere. I was accepting a lonely life and hating every bit of it. I am so happy I have grown and moved past that prideful attitude. I can't tell you that I fixed it or that there is a ten step program to get out of where you are.
However, I can tell you that when I truly engulfed myself in the Word, opened up my heart to the Lord, and just finally became too tired to fight it anymore, I grew. And you may not want to hear this but sometimes it just takes time. It takes time to learn and grow, to realize that this can be a good season or a bad season and its all up to you.
Please do not get confused, I am still in this season. It is not as if I am speaking from the other side, on the contrary, I am still here. The season I once hated still surrounds me. However, I am now growing in this season, instead of acting pitiful and sad. It isn't always easy. Sometimes my old mindsets and habits try to creep back, but as soon as I sense it, I pray and read the Word. I also trust that God's strength will always give me strength.
No matter how long you are in this season of your life good or bad, trust that God knows exactly what He is doing and He loves you and has reasons for this. You may not understand it now, but once you submit to the understanding that you have no clue, He will give you peace above your understanding. This will humble you and you will grow. If I have learned anything from this, it is how prideful I am because it is easy for me to ask why I am not getting everything I want. As I am growing I have realized its not all about me, its all about God. That is who I want it all to be about. May He use me how He will. I pray that I become a vessel for everything He wants to do through me. But the only way to be that is to grow in every season He has me in.
Trust in God above your own understanding. Lift your hands to Him and shout: I trust in your will for my life and I believe I am in the season for your glory!!!! Like me, I believe a weight will be lifted once you do.
God Bless you!

Tiny Whispers of God's Graciousness

2011-10-19T05:33:00.000-07:00

There are many things that put a smile on my face. I believe everyday holds something to smile about. Even if we are faced with hard times, God gives us little blessings through out the day to help us along. All of these blessings can be seen through nature, a word from a friend, or just a stress free afternoon with a good cup of coffee.
Even when God is redirecting us, we can still have a smile on our face. Recently, God showed me an area in which I could refine or work on in my life. As I was hearing God’s small nudge of redirection I couldn’t help but smile. I am so happy God cares for us so much he starts with a small whisper. It is only when we are unable to hear and do not wish to hear that our life’s are sometimes turned up side down before we listen to what we need to do.
The more I read my Bible, and strive to become closer to God, the more I can hear the small voice of God. I love to hear when God speaks softly. I praise God during those times. I want to learn how to take those small voices just as serious as those loud and over-powering voices we experience when we get to far in. I do not want to go so far that my entire life is crumpling around me before I stop and listen to God. I want to listen to Him now, in the most quiet areas of my life.
When I pray every day, a part of that prayer is asking God to continue to prune me and make me who He wants me to be. However, In the middle of that “pruning” process I can get overwhelmed and feel defeated. This however is not what God wants us to feel like. Especially when we ask Him to prune our areas that need to go away.
I have realized that the “pruning” process is a process and it takes time. God will not show me everything I need to work on all at once, as well as, just because He is showing me areas I need to work on, I should be jumping up and down for joy that He in all of His wonderful grace and mercy is continuing to teach me. I need not feel defeated and over whelmed. This is a wonderful thing. I am praising that small voice, and thanking God I am hearing that small voice, before it becomes too loud to bare.
I am so thankful God is still using me and molding me to be exactly who He wants me to be. I am so humbled at the fact that God views me as usable. I want God to use me in any and all areas of my life. My prayer is that He will dig out all the bad stuff and refill me with everything I can not produce on my own. However, before that can happen we need to have the ability to listen and obey Gods voice, may it be small or large.
Psalms 18: 30 says “God, His way is perfect; the Word of the LORD is pure. He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is a rock? Only our God. God, He clothes me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer and sets me securely on the heights. He trains my hands for war; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand upholds me, and Your humility exalts me. You widen a place beneath me for my steps, and my ankles do not give way.”
God is power. Turn to Him in all areas of your life. You won’t be disappointed. He is calling for you to turn to Him. Trust in Him. If you are a Christian, self examination is a good thing. What areas of your life has God been whispering to you in? Turn to Him in those areas so that God may transform your life!!! Our God can do all things! He is powerful and mighty, don’t wait, let him in!!!
God Bless you!

Dreaded Legalism

2011-10-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a week. I know, I did not update last Thursday but I decided that although my goal is to update every week, I am not going to dread or force myself to by postponing things so I will make time to update my blog. I love this blog. I almost do not want to call it a “blog” because it is so much more to me than that. I really enjoy expressing myself and “venting” sometimes about what is going on in my life. The main reason I decided to begin this is because I wanted to speak on what all God has shown me and give those who may be reading this a inside look of someone that struggles everyday, as we all do, but also a look at someone who loves the Lord and will to continue to work everyday to become everything, He wants me to me.
I am not too prideful and I do not think that everyone is begging to learn all about my life. However, like me, I know there are individuals out there who would like to see they are not alone in some of their thoughts, feelings, fears, and struggles. I wrote my first blog post on another site a couple of years, ago. It was filled with simple thoughts, just about what I had been going through. After I posted the blog, I received so many responses, I decided that, at least in my group of friends, there was a need for this type of authentic expression.
The point of stating all of this is to say, that I love writing this blog, however I am not going to “force” to update, and give myself rules for something I enjoy. So many times we make rules and regulations for what we once enjoyed doing. I have struggles with this in so many areas. For example, I love reading my Bible, but I will make rules as to how much I should read in a week, how long I should read my Bible each day, and before I know it, I am so overwhelmed by the rules I have placed on something I once loved doing, that I am now burdened while doing it. I do this about working out too! I love working out, however I have a tendency in making this a rule of law. So much so, that if I do not work out on the days I have assigned, I will feel bad the whole day. This struggle is not just in the realm of religious activities. Rarely, any of our struggles just pertain to our spiritual relationship; it usually is within our secular activities as well.
How do we stop this? I believe it begins with our prayer life and asking the Lord to open our eyes and heart when we are turning “legalistic” in certain areas. If I am not constantly in prayer about this weakness, it will over take my life on most days. I am currently reading Matthew, and this is a great book to read when God is opening your eyes to this struggle. Jesus is constantly talking with the Sadducees, and the Pharisee about their rules and how it will get them nowhere. At this moment I am reminded of a verse in Matthew, which says “…I desire mercy, not sacrifice” (Matthew 12: 7) In Matthew 12 the disciples are passing through a grain field on the Sabbath and are hungry. They begin to pick some of the grain. When the Pharisees saw this they stated the disciples were doing unlawful things on the Sabbath. Jesus stated that some things are greater than the Sabbath are. Jesus continues by stating “If you had known what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice, you would not have condemned the innocent. For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath”. The Pharisees and Sadducees were obsessed with rules, laws, and regulations. They could never fully rely on Jesus because they were focused on the wrong thing. Sadly, Jesus knew most would not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven because of their mindset.
This is a sobering thought, when I realize how serious this is, and the work I have to continue to be bondage free in this area. I am not so much focused on what others do, nor am I focused on the rules they must hold to. However, I am very focused on myself in this area. I may not worry about how many check marks others have checked off, but if I am not careful, I can be totally focused on how many I have checked off. When I feel God is pruning me in certain areas, sometimes I go overboard and think I have to react double to what God is doing.
This is most certainly not true. It was never me who sparked the urge to change inside myself anyways. God prunes us, and he gives us the strength to become more like Him. In our own earthly nature, we as humans will never want to change. However, with the Holy Spirit in us we are changed every day from glory to glory, to become more like our Father. There is nothing we can do to make this process go faster. Like wise, there is nothing we can do to change anything about us, without God. We can not read our Bible enough, hang out with our Christian friends enough, not watch certain t.v. shows enough and so on. Those are all good disciplines; however, just doing those things will never make us more like Jesus. If we understand that, then our understanding towards legalism should be clear, rules do not make us a better Christian.
However, it is hard to not feel like we have to do more. However, if we feel like we have to have rules, then we are not trusting God fully in our lives. If our heart is in the right place, God will continue to work in us to make us more like Him. Think about it, if you say you trust God completely in your life, you will also understand that God is in complete control of your life.
Does this mean we do not have to read our Bibles anymore, go to Church, evangelize, or continue to fellowship with our Christian friends? Absolutely not, those examples are very good disciplines, that I believe once we start God will give us the desire to continue. For example, once I stopped making myself read my Bible a certain amount of time a day, and realized how legalistic I was, I actually was reading my Bible more. Really, I was!! This is because I started enjoying reading my Bible again, and I didn’t make it a chore.
God began to show me so much more when I was able to read my Bible cheerfully and not because I was obligated to. Yes we should take our Bible reading seriously, actually my last blog talks all about that. However, we must pray and seek boundaries so that we are able to grow and learn in a way only God can nourish. Even if you do not know how to stop being legalistic or even know in what areas, just pray to God and ask Him to reveal to you areas, in which you are focusing less on God and more on your own status.
I pray these words have helped you today as they have helped me. God Bless you!

The Living Word

2011-09-22T16:47:00.000-07:00

What a week! Patients is the key this week. Over all, I really can't complain, by God's grace, its been a pretty good week. Lately I have been reading and listening to many different sermons. From the regular ones of Joyce Meyers, Josh Harris, to new ones like John Piper, Mark Driscoll, Charles Spurgeon, and the likes. I have learned so much from hearing and reading different view points. So many talents pastors and leaders out there, I just love it!
I was listening to one sermon and the pastor was talking about how by the voice of God creation started, the world began, birds were created, and life was born. God's voice is so powerful, and at that moment I realized how amazing His voice is. How amazing that God spoke and it came to be. To really meditate on that is almost too much to take. I also realized another thing at that point. The Bible is also God's spoken word, and how absolutely powerful the Bible is.
Lately I have been drawn to reading my Bible more, and not just reading it but to really learn, meditate, and pray over everything I have read. I read Matthew chapters 1-10 every day this week. I believe it was John MacArthur that spoke about doing the same thing, and it inspired me. I used to read through books of the bible and continue on to the next one. However, if you think about it, if you start at Matthew 1, when will you hit Matthew 1 again. Its going to take a long time to work through the entire New Testament and then you will probably move to an Old Testament book, and then go back to Matthew 1. So most likely after all is considered, you will read Matthew 1 about once a year. So I decided, (because I am trying to memorize more versus anyways) to read Matthew 1-10 for a week (so that is seven times). Then move on to 11-20 every day, and so on and so forth. I must say I know Matthew 1 through 10 pretty good by now. I do not know it verbatim, but I know it more than I did before.
Oh to pull out scripture every time we are tempted or tried!!!! How amazing that would be. Instead of immediately thinking of some carnal response when we are mad, sad, angry or everything in between, how wonderful it would be to speak the living Word of God. Some times that happens. Especially the lines we learned in children's church. Remember this one... "turn the other cheek" ? But how powerful as Christians we could be if we dedicated more time in the Word and less time on Facebook, or in reality t.v. Instead of quoting a line from last nights MTV show, why not quote a line from God's Word, the only thing that will help us all of our lives.
When we become Christian we can not pick and chose what we will do. We are either going to follow to our fullest, or we will not. We are either going to cultivate those righteous seeds that were planted in us, or we are going to let them die off. Its our chose
How wonderful God's Word is. You know I can listen to sermons and read articles by Godly theologians all day long, but it will never get me where I need to go. It will lead me some, but definitely not all the way without God's Word. See the key to this is that the reason they are able to produce such inspiring works and sermons is because they did the work. They read the Bible and searched, learned and spent hours meditating in it. So they are giving the audiences the over flow of their knowledge, and what a blessing that is. But I don't just want the overflows. I want to experience that myself. The only way to do that is to dig deep, and read the Word.
The more and more I read, the more I realize how just absolutely POWERFUL it is. How INSPIRATIONAL it is. I can't live without it. So in return it changes my heart, my actions, and desires.
Again I will ask the question, how different would this place be if we all studied the Word, and realized how powerful it is? Living in a society that is so power hungry, I am not surprised by the situation modern day society is in now, because most are missing the most powerful tool, the living Word of God.
God Bless You

Relying on what God says I am

2011-09-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

Well I must say, I kept my word. I said I was going to start posting at least once a week. I am excited to report for this week, I did what I said I would do! This was not an easy promise to keep. This week as been super busy and it will not slow down for a while. However, that being said, I believe there is always time, to sit, type and describe some of the amazing things God has revealed to me through His Word this week.
It seems I have really felt such a draw lately to be submersed in the Word. I absolutely LOVE reading my Bible and find great comfort in the words that I read over on a daily basis. Although the passion to read the Word comes and goes, depending on how busy we are with our daily lives. I feel that the more we dedicate time to God's Word, the more of a desire we will gain and the more we will not be able to put it down. I am currently reading Matthew. I am up to Chapter 10. Although today , I am rereading all of it again, because I want to really understand and concentrate on Jesus' journey.
Most mornings when I am driving to work I ask the Lord for Him to use me as a light in any dark places that day. Matthew 5:14-16 speaks of just that, as Jesus says "You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the home. In the same ways, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." I want to be used in any form or fashion for Christ. Even if it is just a simple smile to brightens someones day. I want to do that, because even that is showing the love of Christ.
Believe me though, when you ask to be the light in a dark place, you will often find yourself in situations that will test your ability to be the light. This week has been one of those weeks for me.
Often when you pray for God to help you in an area, or pray for Him to use you in some way, you will see it all around you. Often if we pray for good thoughts through the day, we may be faced with an unkind word from a co-worker that sends up mentally through the roof. How are we to meditate on good thoughts after something like that happens? I believe by restating what God has said about us. Mentally speak good things from the Word of God you remember reading. In the end however, just praying to ourselves for God to give us direction even in that moment is something we all can do to stay focused on God and not the unkind word.
I will often drive home, reprimanding myself of the wrong thing I said, or did not say, or generally just the way I behaved. Literally picking myself apart until I feel destroyed and that I botched the whole day. Luckily, I have come to the conclusion (on most days) to just give myself a break. I am not giving God enough credit if I think I can fix everything about myself, every second of the day. God has never failed in showing me or guiding me in someway if I needed to work on certain areas of my life. Yes, it is important to pray for areas we feel are struggles, and keep praying and reading the Word about those areas, until we feel that we are delivered, but to continuously knock our own self down because we feel like we have to is absurd. I mean really, it isn't anything we are doing that is going to change us. It is only the Holy Spirit inside of us that will change us, if we do what we are suppose to do, which is to lean on God, read the Word and have faith the He will lead us up and over the mountain.
However, most people give up on themselves changing before they reach victory because the journey may take some time. As one of my favorite teachers Joyce Meyers' has said before "it took longer than a day to get into your mess, and its going to take longer than a day of doing right to get out of it". You have to fight the good fight of faith and realize that your circumstances may not change over night. However, that is why God is so good, because having faith that God will change your circumstances and being dedicated to staying strong to see the deliverance will only be a GAIN for your life and it will also allow you to get closer to God more than you ever expected you could be. Believe me, keep going, stay strong because victory is on its way. Don't beat yourself up, but renew your mind in what God's Word says you are, which is righteous, and victorious!
God Bless you!!!

Revelation in Trust

2011-09-08T12:54:00.000-07:00

A new school year has started yet again. Many things have changed in my life since my last post. I have made a commitment to myself and to anyone else out there that reads this, that I will be posting at least once a week. Yes, once a week! So here we go!!
Today I woke up, and was unusually running late for work. I do not always run late for work, but at the last minute I decided to change my outfit of choice and wear something else. So that includes getting out the iron again, finding another belt, and so on. So I was running late. When I got to work I found that my very favorite mug that hold all my important pens on my desk was broken into pieces laying on my desk! I was at first outraged. I loved that mug, and to see it in such condition on my desk was horrible. I was bound and determined to find out which person at night that cleans up, broke my mug. However, after a few minutes I realized that I needed to calm down and not get so angry about what was probably an accident. Although, I still was upset I decided I was not going to let that ruin my day, and spoke out loud that I was having a great day and nothing could go wrong today.
A few minutes after that I decided to use a machine grade some papers, only to find out that it would not work for me. It wasn't broken... two teachers had used it earlier, but for me it just wouldn't work. I had to laugh at that point. Things just weren't going my way today, and it was only two hours in.
I decided to calm my mind down, and just relax and take my time the remainder of the day. There was nothing I could do about the grade machine, there was nothing I could do about my pitiful mug, so the best thing I could do was to recenter and continue on.
All of this to say that life is this very same way. Seriously, life has ups and downs, its busy, and then its calm. What we are to do as Christians is to trust in the LORD and know more than we know anything else, that He is in control of everything.
Isn't that hard though? Especially for me. I have such a hard time not trying to fix everything, or think things through, or defuse a situation. But we are to trust in the LORD. I have recently started catching my self when I start the "what ifs" to just stop and focus on God. I will never know what is going to happen tomorrow, but God does. I will never have the answers to everything, but God does. The only job I am to have is to pray, meditate on God's will, and to read the Word.
To trust the LORD fully with everything in your life may be difficult. However, doing this will only strengthen your relationship with Him. When I began this new challenge to trust in God more with everything in my heart I became excited. I knew this journey would only lead me closer to God and would show me God in a totally different way. When we have faith and trust God more, I believe we begin to view things in a whole different way.
I have wrote down many Bible verses pertaining to this subject, and I often take them out and read them.
Isaiah 43:18-19: Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not preceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
How cool is that?? God will make a way for us, no matter where we are! He is in complete control and loves us more than we could ever imagine.
Psalms 19:14 says "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer". I love this verse. I often say it in the mornings to begin my day.
My life has changed so much, and I love the place God has me at right now. I want to learn all I can, and grow closer to God every single day. I truly believe the only way is to totally trust God and rely on Him during all the seasons of our lives. If you don't completely know where to start, just simply tell God 'I want to grow closer to you, show me how'. He will honor your request to grow closer to Him.
I really can't imagine my life without Him. Until next week.....

Can I Tell You Something?

2011-04-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

I am overwhelmed at how amazing our God is. A few days ago I couldn't tell you this would be the first words out when writing this today. Things have been hectic lately. Going with the flow and trying to get things done from day to day had just become my life. Counting down the days until summer break was the high light.
However, a few months ago when my life went in a very different direction and things settled down, I knew God was telling me to take this time when school was on a pause and things at work were winding down to really focus on Him, and learn all I could from His word. He was calling me to a time that I would grow closer to Him. God does this very specifically to each of us; calling us on a journey with just Him to be loved, grow in His word, and grow in our faith. I knew that this was my season if I allowed God to work in my life. It is a choice, you know. God will call out to us, and it is up to us to accept His calling, or to simply ignore it.
God has been showing me so many things about myself and about my life. Too often we depend on other people and other things to make us happy. Sadly that is one of my down falls. I rely on friendship more often for advice than praying. I am extremely happy when I get things that I want, instead of praising God that during this economic down turn, I am not feeling most of it.
Yet, my God is amazing. Still calling my name to focus on Him.
I have come to the realization more than ever now, that life without fully in God's will is not the life I want to live. Last night I was laying in bed, about to fall asleep and all I could hear in my head was "focus on me, focus on me". This morning I woke up and felt over joyed with the love of God. I felt that every place in my heart was filled with the love of God.
I yearn for all God has for me. I am very passionate about following God's will. I am very passionate about this, because I still remember when I was only living for myself. Yes, I was a Christian but you could barely see it from the out side. I was living life for myself and it got me absolutely no where. I have tried living like that, and it only leads to destruction.
I know what God has for me is greater than anything I could ever imagine. Yet, I feel the society we live in is so afraid to grasp that. I am too at times. We feel that relying on the unknown is a risk too hard to take. So instead we live life, and we make decisions based on what our feeble minds think is good. Yet if we would just GIVE IT TO HIM, He would transform it to something amazing. Do not be satisfied with a simple day to day life. Expect more, search for more, live for more in Christ. Be a solider for Christ, and fight the good fight for others, not for your self. Life is short and our journey here is but a blink of an eye. Make a difference. You and I were made for more.
God Bless You!

Another End to Another Year

2010-12-02T17:28:00.000-08:00

I am really going to do better about blogging. Since school has started it has been difficult for me to really post anything significant, due to the fact that if I am not at work, I am studying for my classes. But soon, very soon actually my class will be over and I will have more opportunity to post. This semester I am taking Church History and Christian Theology. Both classes have been really challenging, however I have learned so much and I am really excited about how far I have come in just this year. I prayed so hard for so long for God to open doors for seminary school, and it all just fell right into place. I am excited about where I am at right now, and excited about where this will take me.
This year has sort of been a blur. I am not that comfortable with that feeling actually. I have been reminded recently how bad it is to wish your life away and not living for today but the weekend, or vacation. For example we all say "I wish the weekend was now" or "I will be okay when this is over." How boring is that? I mean yeah we all want really good things to happen to us. However we can't just wait until the next exciting thing happens. We have to live for today and not for the weekend or for next year for that matter. People always say "Next year will be better!" or "January 1st starts my diet!". Well why not start your diet today, or make today the best day ever? God gave us this day for a reason and we must not postpone happiness, when it is available today!
We are not guaranteed another day on this Earth, and although we do not like to talk about it much, we must realize that we have to make TODAY the best day it can be. Everyone is on a journey and on the way to where you need to be, why not make the ride fun, enjoyable and exciting? Life is better that way, I assure you! I wake up every morning and say that this morning will be the best day ever, because it makes my day really enjoyable. I find myself getting really excited about what will happen and who I will talk to and learn from. It is amazing!
One finally example of this lesson I have been learning. Having a career and living life, I could choose to wait around until I get married. Not fully enjoying life because I didn't have someone to share it with. However, on the days when I was a hopeless romantic (crying while watching a sappy movie) I would say to God " I have faith that you have someone for me, and I can't wait till you reveal him to me". I turned the "whoa is me" attitude and turned it around into me praising God and speaking the faith that I know He has someone to me. Now I am not saying that by doing this will bring Prince Charming any faster. However what I am saying is that I enjoyed the ride on the way to where I am going. I would hate to admit to myself when I do meet Mr. Right, that "Yeah I just waited around for so-n-so. Didn't really live, just kinda survived."....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!! Life is to be lived to day!!!!!! So my last words on this post to you is GET STARTED, LIFE IS HERE! God Bless you all!!!!

The Light at the End of the Tunnel is Near....

2010-04-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

I was in the middle of studying and realized I had not "blogged" in a while. So I thought I would stop and type for a little while. Life has been extremely busy. School has been going really well. I made an A in my first class, and I am almost finished with my second. I have one paper and one final and that is it for the summer. I have really enjoyed learning in my classes. The studying has been pretty intense, but when I finish I realize how much information that I have learned, and can take with me for the rest of my life. I am taking the summer off, for some much needed rest, but I am excited about my classes in the fall.

The class I am currently in is New Testament Orientation II. This class is much more difficult than my first class. The New Testament has so much information and going into it, since I have read the NT many times before, I really thought I would have much of the background information already. Apparently, I did not know what I was thinking, because I am learning so much more than I ever thought I would. I have such an appreciation for both the New Testament and the Old Testament. I am loving all of this, and it is such a rewarding experience.

This process of going to school, learning, studying, passing has been such an amazing experience. I have been wanting to go to Seminary school for so long, and have known that God placed this desire in my heart for a reason. When looking back and visioning how this all has played out, and how easy it was for me to start going, and having time to study as hard as I do, it is all God. God really has placed this with favor in my life, and although I have to do the work, this is in no way shape or form easy, God has given me peace to really focus and study well. This experience really demonstrates to me, that God does have a plan for each of our lives and when He gives us a desire and you know without a shadow of a doubt that this is His will, it will work out. It took me 2 1/2 years to start after the initial feeling, and yet I just continued with my life, and finished my undergrad and tried for a job, and even worked for a year before it all came to be.

When I remembered how this all worked out, it really puts into perspective things that I know God has told me now and I am still waiting for them. I do not want to waste my life away just waiting when I know it will come to pass, but I just have to be patient and wait. Many times, I find myself consumed with what I want, and I do not just live and when it comes it comes.

When I knew I was going to seminary but it had not happened yet, I didn't stop living, I wasn't consumed with it. I knew it would happen and I just kept doing what I knew I needed to do so that it would happen.

Life is really good right now. Now don't get me wrong, I could pick out things that are wrong, and dwell and be unhappy. However, as I am sitting on my couch and watching Little People Big World (lol) life is great. My job is almost over, I only have 4 weeks until summer vacation. I really have sooooo many things to be happy about and proud of myself about.

Things will never be perfect and I will never have everything I want, but I am happy. I will keep working and striving for better and strive to be a better person for God. But I am not ashamed to say that I think I am doing pretty well right now. God has given me so much, and I am really realizing that by leaning more on Him and less on myself, I am at peace.

I have lived by myself for about 6 months now, and its so easy to nit-pick everything wrong and things I haven't done right because no one else is around to blame it on. But I am learning everyday how to lean on God more and more. I still have so many things to work through and on, but in the words of Joyce Meyer "I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be". I will praise God for that. I remember so many times I would think to myself "I am never going to be able to change this or that"...and I was right, by myself I can't. But with God I was able to. I was able to stand strong and live by myself and manage my money and go to school and go to work, and really work on some of my negative aspects. I was able to do it, because of God.

Life is good, and the moral of the story is: Instead of thinking about all the wrong things that are going on in your life, or wrong things about you, praise God that you aren't where you used to be, and that will motivate you to move closer to God so you can become more like Him.

Praise God, and may He bless you!

A New Year

2010-02-03T17:25:00.001-08:00

It has been awhile since I have posted anything. That should tell you a little, on how my life has been so crazy the last couple of months. It is now February, and it seems like last week was Christmas or at least New Years.

Some new things have happened since my last post: I started Seminary school (Liberty University) and I have started my growth group with MyChurch. Some amazing things have happened, and although my plate is full, it is all with things that I am so excited to be a part of.

I am a students again! I am so excited about that. I really expected me to slide back into that old mind set in my under-graduate years, and yet, it is not that same.

I have learned so much in just the past couple of weeks from my lesson. I am currently taking Old Testament Orientation. I have to tell you, I have never been a bible student (unless you count the six weeks in third grade that I attended a Christian school). All of this information that I am learning, has given me such a new found respect for the Old Testament. When I previously read the OT I really couldn't understand much of it. I understood most of the stories, Psalms, and Proverbs, but really I felt that the New Testament was what I really enjoyed more. Now, I am just so interested in the OT. I would have never imagined the amazing things I have found in my studies. The most rewarding thing so far is how much I am learning about God.

God's mercy is one thing that I have learned so much more about. The Israelite's would continuously turn away from their Father, and yet God is always there to take them back. He wants to love them, and show them His mercy. His arms are always reached out for them, and He is ready to bless them. They would turn and worship foreign pagan gods, and not respect anything that the LORD has done for them.

When thinking about this, I wonder how would God's chosen people be so quickly to turn away from God and towards these foreign idols that our Father is so adamantly against? Then I realized that although our modern society of Christians would look down on any other Christian turning away from God to worship idols, we have put things before God. Isn't that in essence idolatry? I think it is.

There are many times that I have found myself too busy that by the end of the day, I haven't read my Bible at all, or stopped to talk to God. We tend to be so busy with the things that God has blessed us with (jobs, friends, children, food, etc) that we forget to thank and praise the one that gave it to us. We start getting too comfortable in our nice life and forget to realize why it is so comfortable. This has really had some influence on how I chose to spend my free time. I am not going to say that I will never be too busy again or that I won't forget to read my Bible. But what I will always keep in mind, is that although the stories in the Bible are from the past and many of the same situations are not the same, we still have something to learn from the inspired word of God given to us from the prophets. We would not still be here on earth if there wasn't anything for us to learn from the Bible and from God's inspired words.

That is just one of the things that I have learned so far from my studies. It so far has been an amazing ride, and I can't wait to tell you more about it!

I do not know where God is leading me and the reason behind going to Seminary school, other than that I really felt that I was called to go, and after everything worked out so perfectly, I knew it was in God's plan for me to go. But, I am learning so much, and I am leaning on God more than ever. He has become my firm and steady rock in every situation.

Living alone, and dealing with life on my own has been difficult after everything settled down. But I praise God for this gift that He has given me, and I praise Him for the journey He is taking me on. Life has become so amazing, and on my worst day, I still have God, in whom, I can share all of it with. That is the best part of my life right now. I am so excited about this new year, and the many things that I will learn and grow from in it.

God In A Box

2009-12-14T16:05:00.000-08:00

A fitting title, 'God in a box". There are many things in my life that I chose not to allow God to totally take control of. Be it my attitude on any given day, the situation I may be apart of, or the choices I make on a daily bases.

Many things have changed in my life the last couple of months. I live by myself now, I am finally going to seminary school, and I am more dependent on myself than ever before. I think this was God's plan all along. As if I could change any of it.

I always wanted to live by myself, but I guess I was too scared, and poor to actually do it with out some help. I had a couple of roommates lined up when Mel was engaged, because I knew that someone would have to take her place. Slowing but surely, I ended up living by myself though. Again, I say that this was God's plan all along, because everything fit right into place. Now, I'm not going to say that there wasn't some growing pains, but in the end.... I really like living by myself. Looking back on to the situation, I really believe that God knew that He really needed me to get to a place, where I was completely dependent on Him for me to grow into the person He wants me to be. I could only grow so much with a twin sister living with me. There would always be apart of me, no matter how much I loved and depended on God, that would always depend on Mel more than anyone else. So this was a good thing. I am living by myself and am just growing everyday into the person God wants me to be. I talk to God so much when I am here alone, I really feel His presence so much more now.

This has been such a learning process. I have learned so much about myself and about the type of person I am. I really am becoming myself now. I would never take this time in my life away. I want to grow as much as I can while I am single. I want to grow and learn in so many areas.

I think right now God is really working with me about my self-confidents. Again, with a twin sister always around, I could usually feel confident because I had another person beside me. But if you stop using a muscle (and in my case that was my individual self-confidents) you will end up loosing it. And so I guess that is what happened.

Most recently I have struggled with being myself around people. Often times, when I leave a group environment, I bash myself so bad because I said something stupid, weird, or inappropriate. I think that is one of the enemies tactics, so to isolate ourselves away from people, and make us feel like we are fighting a loosing battle. Realizing this social battle, I realized that I did not allow God to totally be involved in this situation. I knew that this was an attack by the enemy, but I wasn't doing anything to combat it.

I put God in a box, because I thought that this struggle was for just me to fight. Kind of stupid, but none the less, that is what I did. However, this struggle directly connects to why God wanted me to live by myself. In every situation He wants me to rely on Him, and to grow in the person He wants me to be. God gave me a personality, and a specific one at that. Being just myself is totally okay. It is okay if people like me, and it is okay if they want to hang out with me, and start conversations with me. Being self-conscious can and will destroy all of what God wants us to be. It can bind us so tight, that we forget who we were, and the qualities about ourselves that God has gifted us with. This can not stay with us, for we will never be who God intended us to be.

How do we fix this? Well first I think that we should learn who God is, and what He can do in us. This can be done through prayer and studying His word. Ephesians 1: 13 says "..... You put your faith in Christ and were given the promised Holy Spirit to show that you belong to God. The Spirit also makes us sure that we will be given what God has stored up for his people." Second, we should rebuke any negative thought that we know the Lord has no part in. It is one thing to have the Lord show us our wrong in certain situations, but it is another when we are trapped in a spiritual warfare with our enemy telling us lies. Third, never give up on one and two!!!!!! God will over power the negative!

To grow in God, is to learn what amazing things He has for us. I can not stress enough, how being self-conscious can destroy any possibility for us to realize what has been given to us by God. I do understand that we should all be humble and reverent to the fact that we all have faults. I am not saying that we shouldn't. I believe that God gives us those understanding to help us in communicating with people around us, and to understand what we need to work on personally and things like that. However, I believe that in most cases when we are self-conscious, it only hinders God's process in our hearts. Being self-conscious can also lead us down a path of fear, doubt, burden thoughts, and anxiety. This is never good when trying to be all that we can be in Christ Jesus.

In all of this being said, this is what I am going through right now. It isn't the biggest thing that is going on in my life right now. However, it is something that I can definitely get a hold of and work on. As a single girl, it is easy sometimes to struggle with self-confidents. But it doesn't need to be. God will not remain in a box, that He doesn't even fit in anyways. He is so much bigger than anything we could ever imagine. That alone gives me hope in all things.

Alone With God

2009-10-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

So tonight is my first full night alone, without anyone here. My sister just got married a couple of days ago. I am so happy for her, and yet I am sad because the journey that we have shared all of our lives is now over. We will start a new relationship. One that I have been told from many, will be a better relationship. I am excited to start this new journey. For the first time in my life, I will be alone. I do not mean for that to sound sad. It isn't sad, but I have never really been alone before. For the record, I am not talking about being physically alone. I am talking about having to worry about only me. Providing for only me. Living on my own. It will be a change, but I am excited about the change.

I was at church on Sunday and I was a little teary eyed. This was one of the first times that I was not meeting anyone at church. It was just me, arriving alone, and not having anyone to save seats for. While the worship music was playing and I was praying to God, I could really feel a comfort from the Lord. I felt like something had ended or rather finalized and this was a new beginning God could have with just me. I am so excited about the time we will be spending together. I love that I can just have a conversation with the Lord in my living room out loud, unafraid of any interruptions of someone coming home. One of my friend told me "I really feel like the Lord wants to refine you through this and make you more and more dependent on Him through it." I really realized that tonight. I have always relied on my sister. She really is the one I relied on. Now is the time, to fully rely on God. I know it will be a process. But I can see that this will take me so much further in my spiritual walk with the Lord. I am just so excited about spending time with Him, and when I am alone, just feeling safe, because I know he only wants the best for me, because I am one of His children. God has a specific plan for my life. So many times, I will think that, and then I will just be overcome with doubt. But I will not allow that doubt to sit with me any longer. The Lord wants this time with me, because He has a specific plan for me, like He has for all of his children.

I will not assume that He doesn't or that I am not that important. How could the God of the universe have a specific plan just for me???? Why? Because He is the GOD of the UNIVERSE!!!! That is why. And I will continue to repeat that, until all of the doubt of that goes away.

I am drawing to a close of the Old Testament. I just read the book of Habakkuk. I really thought it was appropriate. The subtitle read "Trust During Chaos". I love how Habakkuk is a prophet of the Lord, and yet sometimes he doubts and complains. When Habakkuk finished complaining for a moment the Lord answers and says in chapter 2 verse 3 "At the time I have decided, my words will come true. You can trust what I say about the future. It may take a long time, but keep on waiting it will happen. " I love that. I love that the Lord is just so true in every word that He says. When I read that verse I felt confident about my own future. I know what the Lord has told me about my future, but sometimes it is hard to actually accept the truth of it. Also, when I read that verse, I wonder why God doesn't plainly talk to us like He did with Habakkuk. It would be so easy to trust what is verbally told to us. But we must have faith, and that is what this next verse says, 4:"I, the Lord, refuse to accept anyone who is proud. Only those who live by faith are acceptable to me." Faith is what we all must accept, and live by. I hope during this time in my life, and as I grow deeper in the Lord that my faith just grows to unexplainable depths. That is my prayer.

Good Times

2009-09-21T16:28:00.000-07:00

So it has been quite awhile since I have "blogged". I have been so busy. I started work again, and my sisters' wedding date is getting closer and closer........busy times. At the same time, I am determined to remember every moment, of the "wedding process" because it is a special time for a very special person.

School has been busy. I have relaxed a lot more than last year. I have so much more responsibilities than last year, but I am focused and am trying not to become overwhelmed. I really have relied on God so much. If there is a situation that arises that I have no control over, 9 times out of 10, I have just released it. I am never going to be able to control everything that comes my way. So instead of getting upset and worried, I just give it to God and relax.

I have had a lot more conversations with God lately. I enjoy just talking out loud and speaking my thoughts while I'm cleaning or driving, or just whenever I am alone. I feel at peace when I have that time with Him.

I am starting seminary FINALLY in January. I am really excited about it. I have felt that my life has been on hold up until now. I feel that I can not be complete in what God has for me until I start my seminary education. I have had no formal bible education, and I am so excited about learning and discovering new things. Recently I have felt "unworthy" enough, or that I need to work on more things before I can go. I know that it is just a lie and I know that no one is completely "ready" or whatever that means. No one will ever be perfect, and to wait until you are, would be a waste of a life. Because you will spend your life time waiting until you are "perfect". It is funny how when you are doing what the Lord has called you to do, doubts will constantly combat you.

I know that things are going to try to steal my focus when I start seminary, and I am praying now that I will be strong enough to stay focused and really dedicate these next two years to my studies. This is so important to me, and I am just so happy and at peace with my decision to go. Whenever I think about starting school, I almost get giddy. I have been waiting so long for this. I had applied to seminary schools before and they had never work and now I know the reason why. This is the perfect place that I would have never guess a year ago that I would have been accepted to. God's timing is perfect, and amazing! I am completely blessed in so many areas!

Now, if I can just rely on God's timing in everything in my life. I am slowly getting there! And as long as I am growing, I am doing good! From glory, to glory I am growing!

A New Season

2009-08-08T07:06:00.000-07:00

As I was sitting on my porch Monday night before pre-planing started the next day, I felt closed in, I felt that I could not breath properly, my heart was starting to beat faster, I was about to have a anxiety attack. This isn't the first time that I have had the "beginning" stages of one of those, and in years past when I hadn't relied on the Word of God and Jesus himself, I would have thrown myself completely into one of those. But one thing I have learned is to stop it before it starts. Those attempts of attack from the devil always seem to come to me on the cuff of something new, or at a new season I have in life. I know how to identify it now and I knew I had to not close myself in and so I texted a friend "will you pray about tomorrow for me?". And afterward I prayed about the next school year that I was embarking on. I didn't need to go into detail with this friend about what was going on, but I knew I needed prayer about what I was starting the next day. Although I still "down-play" much of what is going on with myself during times like those I still have made great strides when talking to God about what is going on. And for now, that is enough for me.

Afterwards, I felt a sense of excitement about the new school year. I wasn't even able to go to sleep that night hardly. The next day was fine, until my leg started to swell due to a spider bite or whatever it was, and I had to go to the doctor. And the following day was fine, until on my break I went to get a sweet tea and was pulled over (for the first time ever) for not wearing my seat-belt.... I know, I know, I should have put it on....Lesson learned. But with all of that being said, I still had a fabulous week. Yesterday was probably the best day. It was long, busy and stressful, but non the less a great day. I have many new responsibilities and position at the school. I am on numerous committees that the principle thought I should serve on, one of which being a leadership committee. This new year, will definitely be a career. I can no longer "down-play" the work that is to be done. I used to say, that I would never let my job take up more than 30% of my life. This year will be quite different. Hopefully this will be the last year of this.

I have learned some amazing things this week. I started a new book called 'Captivating', that a friend told me about. It has really identified some really amazing things about a women's distinct relationship with God. It is different than any other relationship, and it definitely not the same as a man's relationship with God. I have learned to identify many of the devils lies towards women as a whole. One of my deepest fears is to be alone, and I have realized from this book, that it is a major fear for all women, and it is a lie.

Its during those times when as a women we have fears, those fears that lie deep within us, that we tend to guard, hide, so no one can see it or sense that about of us, quite like my anxiety, that we must realize that those "deep and dark" things are not part of who we are, but part of the plan against us and speak up about it, we would find that we are not alone at all in those fears, every women has those, and we can do battle together.

I am not alone, and never have I been alone. However, it was a definite truth in me and in my mind the whole time. One of the major things I am working on now, and will continue to work on, is defining God's voice, from the enemy's voice. Reading the Word has really helped a lot, and praying through my day has really helped a lot, and yet still, I find myself affirming lies on a daily basis. Most of the time its not a distinct "that is true", its mostly just a feeling that I agree with and let it possess my day. That is not what God wants me to do, and it is definitely not how God wants any of us to live our lives. We will never get to the next place He wants us to go, if we are willing to agree with any thought that comes into our mind.

I know how to do that in some very difficult situations, including the anxiety. I know that I have to speak up and talk, if only for a second, not letting myself draw inwards, and then focus on God. But I should focus on God during all of the negative thoughts I have, and not just focus on Him when I have physical attacks of my emotions. Many times we call out to God when we are crying or shaking, (physical attacks). But what about those times, when we think we are not important, or we are ugly, or we are not going to get married. Those are just as important too. Those big thoughts, lead to bigger things that will then cause us to break down. We must stop it at the on set. Because those are lies. With everything else, this is another lesson learned. Another fight that we must fight, for not just our own victory, but the victory of the Kingdom as well.

Bounds and Bounds of Faith

2009-07-20T22:09:00.000-07:00

Before this summer started I prayed nightly that I would grow in amazing ways towards God. I wanted to develop a closeness with Him that I had never achieved before. As the summer started, it was clear to me that God wanted me to grow further and further in my faith in Him.

Faith, being the key word. Faith is something I always thought I had a strong handle on. I soon realized that I did not have the faith that God wanted me to.

I had to open myself up in all areas, and have faith that God would lead and guide me in the right direction. It was hard at first. I had faith in God, but only in areas that I could not do anything about. Example, finding a job. I did all I could do to find the right school to work at. I went above and beyond the call of duty, even knocking on principles doors. But in the end, when it was clear that I could do no more, I finally surrender to having faith in God. I soon got a job after that.

Faith is more than that. It is more than doing all we can humanly do, and then surrendering.

Paul writes in Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith no one can please God. We must believe that God is real and that he rewards everyone who searches for him." I want to please God! As I look at myself, created in God's image, I know that I do not like it when someone does not have faith in me. So why would God be any different? I believe too many times, we as human beings put God in this little box, and limit what He wants to do in our lives, simply because we do not have the faith to give everything to Him.

I do not want to put God in a box and yet I do it over, and over again. I worry about many different things. I worry sometimes to the point that it is illogical. I have really become determined that the minute I start to worry is the minute, I mentally throw my hands in the air, and lift it up to God. He does not want me to worry, and I am breaking that habit daily.

In looking at some of my bigger mistakes that I have made thus far in my life. I have realized that in many cases, I was not willing to have faith and wait on God, so I took control myself.

I am trusting God in some big ways right now. I am going to continue working at the school that was really hard for me last year. It was and is an answered pray to have this job, and I have to keep reminding myself that God delivered me in some powerful ways last year and He will continue to guide me this year. He has me here for a reason, and I am willing to stay and do His work at this place.

I am also trusting God with seminary school. I want to go so bad. Again, I have done everything that I need to do in a responsible way to become accepted, however it has not happened yet. This is one of the ones that is hard for me to not try to control myself. Yet, every time I worry about this, I remember that God is in control and He knows when doors should open, when, and how fast. Until the seminary opportunity opens, I will wait.....with patients.

There are so many more things that I am trusting God for. There are many things, that I would love to have work out and manifest a happy ending. But in all things we must focus on God and realize that His control and timing is so much better than ours ever can be. I am striving everyday for God to remain the center of every thing that I do, so that things will work out perfectly. They may not have worked out the way I would have wanted them to, or even prayed for. But looking back, those things that worked out in a different way, I was so happy and thankful that they did. My desires are not always in line with God's desire, but I believe that the closer we are to God, the closer our desires match His. And with that, I will continue to strive to have bounds and bounds of faith in God.

Pick Your Day

2009-07-04T06:44:00.000-07:00

Every morning when I wake up, one of the most important decisions I make in the first five minutes is 'what coffee cup and I going to drink out of today?'. Picking the right coffee cup is an important decision. I can pick my usual white cup that holds enough, but I may have to refill more often, or I could pick one of the cups I bought on one of my many vacations. But usually I pick a really big coffee cup, so refill is minimal. Pouring with equal parts of powder cream and sugar, I am ready to start my day!!!

Picking the right coffee cup is important, but the very most important decision I make every morning, is whether I am going to have a good day, or a bad day. This is one of the most important decisions one can make everyday. Especially, when it is mid-week, and I am teaching and Friday can not come soon enough, I have to literally tell myself that today will be the best day of my life. I expect something good to happen that day. And usually what is good about that day, is nothing really, really bad happens!

I've been realizing more and more lately that the reason God allows us to wake up and see the sun for another day is because He wants to use us. God gives us another day, so that we may help further His kingdom. And if that is the case, I have to say its going to be a good day, because it will be. Being positive about the day ahead, makes it easier for God to use us in the day that He gave us.

As I started to say that every morning, I realized that I would become expectant of something wonderful happening, and it made my day so much better. I would focus more on the positive things that happened that day, I would not be so stressed, and I would just enjoy my day.

I started reading Daniel today. God really used him in some powerful ways. Daniel was put through some hard times as a result of a vain ruler, but he continued to believe God was the god that had a plan in place and was using him every part of the way. I've haven't read the whole book yet, and I'm quite sure that Daniel wasn't happy-go-lucky his entire life, but I do know that he allowed God to use him, and was willing to serve God everyday.

My life inedibly is going to change drastically, when looking at the changes that are going to happen and me living on my own. I could have the mind set to focus on the negative. For example, more bills to pay, and realizing that I will have to do more things on my own. But I really haven't thought about those things much because I am excited about the new changes that will happen in my life, and the lives around me. I have made up my mind that this is going to be the best time in my life. I can't help but think that I have really trained my mind to become more reliant on God and have realized that the unknown of the next day or the next year is going to be a great one. I don't have to worry about my own ability, because my own ability isn't strong enough without God.

So today will be a GREAT day and I'm excited about it!

The Journey Continues....

2009-06-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

So the last couple of days I have been reading Hebrews. I have really enjoyed it. If I could, I would encourage everyone to sit down and read the entire book in one sitting, (only 13 chapters). This is a great book (scholars think it was written by Paul) that tells everyone to continue their earnest focus on God even when times get worse.

In my own life, in many different occasions I let myself down, and I also let God down. Things happen, sins happen, life happens. Usually, when I feel as if I am "done" with a certain sin, it rears its dirty face again for me to deal with it all over again. I feel discouraged, I feel that I not only let myself down but I also have let my friends down, and most importantly I have let God down.

But in Chapter 12 verse 7 of Hebrews, Paul says "Be patient when you are being corrected! This is how God treats his children." And in verse 12 "Now stand up straight! Stop your knees from shaking and walk a straight path. Then lame people will be healed, instead of getting worse"

Which means in my own life, that I should be thankful that God is correcting me, if He wasn't I would be in worse trouble. Because that would mean that I am not hearing from him. This also means that I need to stop dwelling on past mistakes, I should stand up straight and keep fighting the good fight.

If we let ourselves dwell on past mistakes (that are forgiven) we simple continue to circle the same mountain. We never move forward! How horrible is that? I would never want to circle the same mountain, it gets frustrating and confusing. But we must continue to look to God for our strength and just realize that it will be okay. God is steadily working in each of our lives, and we must continue to move forward!

In many cases in my own life, I tend to put God in a box and limit His power to solve a problem I have. I feel that I have to feel bad for my sins for a couple of days, and then try to "make them up" so that I feel that I have redeemed myself. But God doesn't work like that. He is a god of grace and mercy. He wants to help us, He wants us to run to Him, and realize that we can not do it on our own.

Paul also states in chapter 6 verse 1 "We must try to become mature and start thinking about more than just the basic things we were taught about Christ. We shouldn't meed to keep talking about why we ought to run from deeds that bring death and why we ought to have faith in God. And we shouldn't need to keep teaching about baptisms or about the laying on of hands or about people being raised from death and the future judgement. Let's grow up if God is willing."

How powerful is that? Paul is plainly saying, that we must grow up and think above and beyond the little things that we were taught. Stop dwelling on past mistakes, move forward in Christ. I really, really needed to hear those words. I need to stop worrying about the small stuff and realize how HUGE God is, and He is completely and utterly in control.

I remember when I was a child and my parents would tell me not to worry about things, how things were going to work out or something like that. And as a child I would listen and knew that my parents had never let me down before so why would they do it this time, it just wasn't an option. And every time, everything always worked out. Plans may have changed, but I had more fun with the new plans than the old. Doesn't say in the Bible that we should come to God as a child, or in a child like way? Yes it very much does. I think that is going to be my new prayer!

Learning from Day to Day.....

2009-06-15T19:17:00.001-07:00

Being able to take a break from my daily teaching responsibilities I am able to focus more earnestly on my daily pursuit of God's heart. Don't get me wrong I am pursuing His heart when I am teaching 5 days a week, however, having your entire weeks and months off, allows one to become more focused.
I enjoy the mornings, the silence that is present allows the Glory of God to really be heard. It is nice to sit on my patio and listen to what is being said.
I was reading 1 Corinthians; Chapter 7 today, and I came across the part that Paul dedicates to the "unmarried people" of this world. I thought it was quite fitting for my current circumstances. I have to laugh really. I love Paul and I love his message. I really enjoy the part in which he states, "However, I think I am obeying God's spirit when I say she would be happier to stay single." I am sure Paul is right. I am sure that life in essence would be easier if one decided to stay single. But with the looming questions at family gatherings of "you'll be next" or "when are you going to get married", or my favorite "don't worry, it will happen, when its meant to happen." As I node, and slowly walk away, all I have thoughts of is " i can't wait for those questions to be over with!!!".
I don't know if anyone would agree, but I feel empowered by Paul's words. I get that things would be easier and I love that Paul had the nerves to say it. From my history back ground I understand that things would be much easier economically for Paul to get married, he would definitely have more money to continue his missions and give to the church. On top of other gains from a marriage. But he wasn't worried about that.
What I love about Paul, is when reading his words in the New Testament, one can really gain a sense that his eyes are totally on God and nothing will change that.
In my own circumstances, just for the record, I want to get married. But I gain so much from reading about God and his promises no matter what our circumstances are all that matters is Him. And right now as a single person I have so much time and energy that I can put towards God and learning more and more about his wonderful glory and mercy, that I'm just excited being a "single" person right now. Although I don't think I am single, I'm never really alone.